Author Archives: Kami Melton

Tomorrow’s the Day!

The All Hallows Eve issue of The Gallery of Worlds is coming tomorrow!

It costs just $2.99.
You can get it for FREE if you sign up to receive Lantern Hollow Press’ bi-weekly emails, which will let you know when new books become available and give you the chance to enter drawings and contests.  Just click the image below!


Sign Up

With the publication of new books (several on the way in the next year) and fresh issues of our quarterly-ish eZine, The Gallery of Worlds, most folks will want to start getting copies of these quality, imaginative, and entrancing volumes.

We want to give our most loyal readers the opportunity to know about what’s new first, get great deals on our stuff, dialogue with you in surveys, and even give you freebies through our Lantern Hollow Press Exclusives Emails.  These Bi-weekly emails will also enable you to enter contests and drawings for fantastic prizes like DVDs, t-shirts, autographed books and art, and LHP swag.

You only have to do
ONE little THING
and we’ll be able to keep you in the loop.

Sign up for Lantern Hollow Press’
Exclusives Email List
right now.
Everyone who is signed up by the end of November will receive the
All Hallow’s Eve edition of The Gallery of Worlds for FREE.

Subscribing or “following” the blog is not the same thing.

It’s easy to sign up for the Exclusives Email List.  Just click on any of the blue words in this post and enter your email address in the box that pops up.

That’s it.  Told you it was easy!

We will not to sell or share your address with anyone.  And if you decide later that you don’t want discounts or free stuff, you can unsubscribe instantly and painlessly.  Promise.

Help Us Out and Win a Kindle Fire!

Lantern Hollow Press needs your help.


We are trying to get the word out about our writings, because we are an high-quality operation (as you well know), and are actually getting into the publishing-more-than-one-book-per-year stage. We want to get word out in the most cost-efficient way possible, because we are on a tight budget.

The obvious solution?  Occasional great-looking emails that catch the eye, get straight to the point, show off our stuff, and give our fans and friends special deals.

…But we need addresses to which to send these fantastic emails.  That’s where you come in.  We need you and your friends to sign up for our email list.

What’s in it for you?  A chance to win one of these:Image

No matter how many people sign up, we’re giving away at least 1 Kindle Fire.*

We are setting a goal of at least 500 email recipients.  If we reach our goal, we will give away 2 Kindle Fires*.  If we exceed our goal…here’s what will happen:

  • 1,000 email recipients = 2 Kindle Fires and 5 “Swag Bags” chock full of awesome Lantern Hollow stuff*
  • 1,500 email recipients = 2 Kindle Fires, and 10 LHP “Swag Bags”*
  • 2,000 email recipients = 2 Kindle Fires and 20 LHP “Swag Bags”*

So let your friends know!


…Oh.  And when you get the emails, consider buying our stuff.  There are several more books coming out in the next year or so.  Waverly Hall: Relois is getting a complete makeover, and we’re very excited to offer more fiction works, including our first fully illustrated children’s book.  Aside from fiction, the second edition of Don’s thought-provoking, poetry rich book, Inklings of Reality, is coming out very soon in paperback and e-reader format.  It’s my best book cover design yet!  🙂

Best of luck!

*People that are a part of LHP cannot win anything.  That means none of our authors, blog authors, business co-owners nor their immediate families are entered in the drawing.  (…I think that covers all fourteen of us…)

Ode to Another Misadventure

Stephanie Thompson, who was supposed to blog today, couldn’t make it because she’s spent the day in a hospital somewhere in Asia.  She broke her hand.  (Click here for more about Stephanie’s misadventures.)

Please get well soon, Stephanie.

Ode to Another Misadventure

Too late we found
Miss Thompson drowned
In misery and pain severe;

She broke her hand
In far-off land:
Stuff happens, we don’t find it queer.

Now clinic-bound,
Miss Thompson’s found,
But absent from the blogosphere.

Grammatical Hooliganism #1

Stop...Grammar Time! Let me break it down for you. Yo.

I intend for this to be the first of a handful of posts on common grammatical foibles intelligent people make that cause me to want to scream.

Grammar is important. It helps us communicate efficiently and precisely. It makes us sound smarter too!  Let’s face it: nothing says “grammatical ignoramus” more splendidly than a triple (or quadruple!) negative with slang. (“I ain’t not never gonna do that no more.”)


I’m not the only one who is aggrieved by the necessity of reading a very long chapter in a grammar book that uses the very grammar I’m not yet supposed to know. For Pete’s sake, just tell me how to do something in words I already understand and allow me to get on my merry way!

So here is one chapter of the Quick-See Grammar Book by me—a homeschool* mom who would much rather be baking or building a treehouse with her daughter than sloughing through tedious manuals.  However, over the past few years I’ve had to do a lot of studying.  Rejoice!  The legwork has been done for you!  These posts are intended as a favor to all those who have better things to read (like Brian Melton’s Waverly Hall series).  This is grammar at its easiest, so send your kids and students to this post before you frustrate the livin’ tar out of them!

First up for our perusal (drum roll, please): the humble homophone.

Simple Definition: A homophone is a word that sounds like another word but has a different meaning.

Here’s how to correctly use the most common ones out there:

1 YourYour feet stink. You’re (you + are)You’re a strange person. YoreI was a child, way back in the days of yore.
2 TheirTheir pool is filled with alligators! They’re (they + are)They’re going to call animal control. ThereThere will be no pool party today.
3 BuyBuy me a drink, please. ByeDon’t forget to tell Grandma, “Bye!” ByThe beach is by the sea.
4 KnowDid you know we have alligators? NoNo alligators live here.
5 PeacePeace, goodwill toward men. PieceMay I have another piece of pie? Piece (slang for “firearm”)Wave your piece around like an idiot and you’re liable to be arrested!
6 ToWe are going to the ball game. TooDo you want to come too?OR

The tickets cost too much.

TwoThe tickets cost more than two hundred dollars!
7 WhereWhere are you going? Ware(s)I’m going to sell my wares. WearI will wear my hat.
8 ThenI will kill the alligators, then I will go swimming. ThanIt’s more relaxing to go swimming than to kill alligators.
9 WhetherWhether or not I go swimming depends on the alligator population. WeatherIf the weather is warm, I like to go swimming.
10 HereGet over here now! HearDo you hear that weird sound?

Keep an eye out for these in your writing.  Most people will use them incorrectly one time or another in the heat of composition–which is why careful editing is a must.


*I refuse to write “home school.” The word “homeschool” is common enough now for it to graduate to being an official compound word (like backpack and skyscraper).
**For those grammar ninjas out there, I acknowledge that these homophones are only the tip of the iceberg, and that the subject of homophones has only been slightly touched upon.  Please don’t come after me.  You will rue the day (or night) you do.  I’ve hired Chuck Norris–it just so happens he likes my baking, and we were able to work out a barter.