Jasper Frank’s Very Bad Day (Part III)
Posted by erikthereddest
Hello, everyone! This will be the final part of my running short story, and unfortunately also my last post of the month! The good news is that Melissa will be back next week, so you should definitely come back for what she has in store. I’ve really enjoyed seeing where this story took me. Some of it was very unexpected! I hope you’ve had as much fun with this little demonstration of genre blurring as I have. In any case, here is “Jasper Frank’s Very Bad Day,” Part III.
For parts I and II, click here!
Jasper Frank’s Very Bad Day (Part III)
Hey Erwin, I’m at the location, but I’m not sure it’s right. You said the corner of Straylight Road and Sprawl Street, right?
Yeah man, that’s the place. Dorg’s message’s right in front of MMFH. COUGH COUGH
Hey, yeah I’m fine. I’ve got this huge plate of avocado nachos with ranch dressing, and I sort of-
You’re eating? Right now?
Calm down Jay, I told ya, this guy’s legit. He won’t give you trouble, he owes me.
Yes, you told me that. You also told me that he wouldn’t mind it if you changed the contract mid-job and extorted stolen Chinese alchemicals from him. You forgot to mention that he works for the Japanese mob.
I didn’t think it was important to mention, ok? Look, you’re at the right corner, it’s 2:28, he should be there in two minutes. He’ll walk past you and drop a brown paper bag on the springy duck thing, and you’ll be out of there.
The springy duck thing? What springy – you mean that rocking-horse in the park across the street? Next to the slide and the merry-go-round?
What? No, not a horse, a duck. With the spring? That the little brats sit on and go crazy?
Erwin, that’s in the playground across the street. As in, not on the corner of Straylight and Sprawl. Are you sure that’s where I should be.
No, look You don’t go standing around in a kiddy playground in the middle of the night, that’d look too suspicious.
And a werewolf standing on a street corner in the middle of the night isn’t suspicious?
Dude, wolfies are, like, nocturnal or something, aren’t they?
Erwin, I’m surprised at you. That is one of the most common misconceptions about Lycanthropes. I mean, if you would just look at the pamphlet I brought you, you could educate yourself –
Woah, hold up. Didn’t mean to step on your new sore spot for the fuzzy peeps. Look, just stay there. When you see some shady guy walk through the playground, that’s your sign.
Wait! You’re not going to hang up, are you?
Jaaaay. I’ve got stuff to do, other contracts. Got a new gig lifting the thaum code off some magi-tech dealer. Got a guy who wants it so he can make some nice knock-off hair growth charms, total legit forgery stuff.
But what if the Yakuza show up!
Come oooon, Jaaaaspy.
Fine, leave me all alone! But if I get murdered by some angry Japanese warlock or get shot through the heart by a vigilante werewolf hunter, I won’t be there to pay half the rent. Then you’ll be sorry!
Don’t be like that, man. You’ll be fine, this guy’s totally legit. Sure, he may have gotten the Yakuza on his tail a bit, but he said he can handle it, and-
Wait, I see something. There’s a man… it looks like he’s walking to the park gate. Yes! He went in, he’s got something in his hand. Erwin! He left the bag on the duck! He left the bag!
Great, just like I told you. Now go get it before someone else shows up. I’ll be on the net when you get back, so don’t bother me, kay? Later!
Hello? Hello! Erwin? …Ok, you can do this, Jasper. There isn’t anyone… well, ok, there are some people now, down the street, but they don’t look like… right, that one’s holding a samurai sword. That’s probably not a good sign. Ok Jasper, just get the bag and… got it! Oh no. The one with the sword saw me… maybe if I sort of crouch down, I can –
Hey, who you talkin’ to, fluffy?
What? Fluffy? I don’t know who you’re talking – Oh! Because I’m a… uh, no one?
You on the phone? You holdin’ a phone up to your ear.
Ah, just a friend of mine, you know, talking about stuff. He’s a… well he’s a werewolf too, so we’re planning a networking meeting! You know, Society for the Ethical Treatment of Anthropomorphs.
Ah maaan, you’re one ‘a those SETA freaks?
Well, yes! In fact, I have this handy pamphlet that points out a few important misconceptions people have about shifter minority groups, if you’re interested. I have a whole stack! Please take one!
Eh, no thanks, man. Look, we’re lookin’ for this guy, took somethin’ from us. You seen anyone around this duck thing? Maybe left somethin’ here?
Oh no, I was just taking a stroll, talkin’- I mean, talking, with my werewolf buddy – You still there, Bradley? Oh ho, no, I don’t want to go work out right now…. Oh wow, I didn’t know you could lift 600 pounds! …Werewolf strength? Ah, yeah, I forgot about that! Ha ha! I guess even I can bench 300, now that I think about it…Listen, Bradley, I’m speaking with a gentleman here, I’ll be just a second… Sorry about that, was there something I could help with?
…Nah, man. It’s fine, we’ll just, eh… keep lookin’.
Ok then! You have a good night – and they’re gone… boy, they didn’t stay long! Well, I’d better get back to the apartment… huh. These alchemicals don’t expire for a whole month! Well, I guess I don’t have to take them right away if I don’t want to. I’ll see what Bradley thinks at the next meeting. I bet he’d love to hear about tonight, anyway!
And that concludes my story! I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Next week, Melissa will be back on rotation. Until then, have you ever written or read a story that didn’t seem to fit all the way in either the science fiction or fantasy genres? Let me know in the comments below!
About erikthereddestI'm a Masters student in English, and I love technology and Science Fiction. I am refining and enhancing my (admittedly novice) writing talents under the sage advice of my friends here at Lantern Hollow Press, and with the great many books I am reading from the best authors I can find.
Posted on August 28, 2013, in Erik Marsh, Fantasy, Humor, Lantern Hollow Press Authors, Science Fantasy, Science Fiction and tagged elves, fantasy, magic, science fantasy, science fiction, Werewolves. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.